Tiff (girlofsaturn) wrote in usagimamofanfic,

Title: Sound Off
Author: The Final Stillness of Saturn
Rating: R
Genre: Humor
Pairing period: Present (no mention of Senshi)
Teaser or Summary:
"The game begins when someone says something random, like banana. Everyone else has to say something else in the same category, like strawberry or apple. Whoever says something last has to make a--" Serena stopped abruptly, and she looked surprised. Turning to Mina, she focused a glower on her.
"You're so immature," Raye grumbled. "The last person to say something has to make a sex noise."

Darien sat on his usual stool at the counter of the Crown Arcade, sipping coffee and patiently waiting for his sparring partner to appear. It was a daily ritual that amused him to no end. At last, the blonde, meatball-headed girl walked through the sliding glass doors and glided to a booth. Well, she'd have glided had she not nearly fallen flat on her face half way there. The raven haired girl behind her grabbed her elbow and hoisted her to her feet while laughing at her.
"There you go again," the tallest, Lita, chuckled as she folded herself into a seat. Serena blushed.
After they had gotten settled, Darien wandered over to entertain himself. "I noticed your graceful entrance, Meatball Head. Do you practice walking, or are you just naturally talented?"
"Do you practice being a jerk, or are you just naturally talented?" Serena mocked, giving Darien the glare that suggested she was hoping he'd die.
"Banana," Mina called as soon as the other blonde's mouth had closed.
Lita replied, "Peaches." Her eyes shone with mischief. Raye and even Amy followed this with fruits of their own. Serena added her fruit without ending her glare at Darien. Three of the girls then stared up at Darien expectedly.
He returned their looks for a moment before shifting uncomfortably. "What?" he questioned, his eyes searching their faces. Was there something wrong with him? He quickly considered his entire body. Nothing seemed out of place, unless he had a large hole in his pants or something. And what was with the listing of fruits?
"You lose," Mina stated.
Darien forced himself not to smile. "I lose what?"
"The game," Serena said in exasperation. She had very little patience when it came to him.
"Game? What are you playing? Who said I was?" He was rather confused.
"You mean you've never played before?" Raye asked incredulously.
"Forgive me if I haven't kept up on the odd games high school students have been playing lately," Darien said sarcastically. Raye made a face at him.
"But it's fun, Darien!" Mina exclaimed. Her eyes widened slightly, but they glinted a bit more than usual.
"Oh, really? And how do you play this game?" He arched an eyebrow at them.
"Since you taught us the game, why don't you explain it, Serena?" Mina suggested. Amy sighed lightly and turned back to her book.
"Me?" Serena squeaked.
"What's the matter, Meatball Head? Not capable of repeating the directions a second time because they leaked out?" Darien questioned, rapping his knuckles lightly against her head.
Serena whirled on him, fire in her eyes. "No, jerk." She paused. "The game begins when someone says something random, like banana. Everyone else has to say something else in the same category, like strawberry or apple. Whoever says something last has to make a--" Serena stopped abruptly, and she looked surprised. Turning to Mina, she focused a glower on her.
"What, Serena?" Mina asked sweetly.
"You know what," she muttered.
"Whatever is wrong?" the other blonde replied sweetly.
"That's not the kind of game to play around Mondo Jerk," Serena informed her.
"What do you mean?"
Darien watched the conversation go back and forth before getting annoyed. "What in the hell is wrong with this game?" he growled, leaning down towards Serena. She visibly jumped and moved closer to Lita.
"You're so immature," Raye grumbled. "The last person to say something has to make a sex noise."
He couldn't help it. He stared at her in disbelief for several seconds. "That's a game?" his voice came out slightly higher than usual. The girls nodded. Who would teach Serena that? His fingers dug into his palm in anger. He abruptly turned on his heel and walked to the counter, leaving the girls confused.
"Hey, Buddy, what's wrong?" Andrew asked, automatically sitting a cup of coffee in front of his long time friend. Darien gestured towards the girls as he gulped the calming liquid. "Well, if you wouldn't always start a fight--"
"I didn't get a chance." He glanced over at the girls, who had gone back to talking animatedly. Andrew looked puzzled. "They decided that we were playing a game."
Andrew looked bemused. "What game?"
"A game that Serena taught them." Andrew nodded, suggesting he go on. "One person says a random word, and everyone else responds with a word in the same category. Whoever speaks last has to make a sex noise," Darien murmured, annoyed.
Andrew gaped at him for a moment. "Excuse me?" he said finally.
"You heard me."
"Serena taught them that? Who the hell taught Serena?" Andrew hissed. He was protective of his almost little sister.
"That's what I want to know," Darien agreed.
"I'm going to talk to her. You can, too. Go on back," the blonde said. As Darien disappeared through a doorway, Andrew made his way over to the table of girls. "Hey, girls, can I get you anything?" he asked.
"Hi, Andrew," the five of them chorused. Serena sulked as she noticed Andrew avoiding her gaze. They each placed an order. When Andrew returned, he deliberately left out Serena's order, and walked back behind the counter.
"Jeez," Serena muttered, sliding out of the booth and walk up to the blonde man. "What gives, Andrew?" she asked.
"I want to talk to you, Serena," Andrew answered. He came to the end of the counter and gripped her elbow. "Back here." Andrew led her into a staff room. Darien was already seated on the couch. Serena glared at him.
"Serena, where did you learn that game?" Andrew demanded.
"My friend," she responded, inching towards the door.
"Sit down," the blonde commanded. Serena sat at one end of the couch, as far from Darien as possible. "Which friend?"
"Molly knew that game?" Andrew inquired incredulously.
"We learned together," Serena stated, shifting uncomfortably.
"From whom?"
"I spent the night at her house, and she had her friends over. Sarah, Molly's friend, decided to call a few," Serena hesitated, "other friends to come over to Molly's."
"What kind of friends?" Darien interjected, noticing her reluctance.
"Guy friends," Serena trailed off.
Andrew watched her with his mouth hanging open. "They taught you? You didn't learn any other games, did you? Please say no."
"No, I knew all the others." As soon as she said this, Serena clapped a hand over her mouth. She knew that was the wrong thing to say.
"What... what," Andrew stuttered. "I can't believe you'd such a thing, Serena. I don't want to hear about you hanging around with those guys or that Sarah girl ever. Got that?" Serena nodded sheepishly. "And-- Darien, I can't think straight." He rubbed his temples. "Talk to her for me." With that, he stomped out of the room, leaving the enemies alone.
The blonde looked at her nemesis from the corner of her eye. "He's angry. Why'd you have to tell him?" she queried.
"Because." Darien turned to gaze at her. "What'd they touch?"
"What?" Serena shrieked.
"Don't play innocent, Meatball Head. I'm a guy, and I was your age once. What'd they touch?" he persisted. She turned her head away. "What other games did you play, Serena? Stop ignoring me; you're irritating me."
"We played Spin the Bottle, Strip Poker, and Truth or Dare," she muttered.
"You played--" Darien began to repeat her before closing his mouth. If he ever found out who had played these games with his Meatball Head, they'd be beaten to a bloody pulp. Darien took a deep breath. He had to stay calm. "Why don't you tell me what you did game by game?" he suggested.
"Why am I discussing this with you?" Serena retorted.
"So that I don't strangle those guys, your friends, or you, whichever comes first," he explained in a low voice.
Serena gulped. "Spin the Bottle wasn't bad. I had to kiss Molly once, though." She giggled. Darien tried not to imagine Serena kissing boys that she didn't know. "Then we played Strip Poker."
"Why did you play that?" he questioned.
"I didn't. They tried to make me, but I'm so bad at poker that I refused." Darien breathed a sigh of relief after her statement. "Then we played Truth or Dare. I always picked truth, so they thought I was a chicken. Finally, one of the guys dared another to give me a lap dance." The last three words were so quiet that he could barely hear them, but you could be certain that he heard them.
"He what?" Darien roared, jumping to his feet and towering over her. "What the hell were you thinking, Serena?" he growled. "Why would you do those things with anyone, let alone complete strangers?" Serena opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "Never mind, I know exactly what you're going to say."
"I'm tired of listening to you lecture me, Jerk. I don't even know why you care." She stood up and attempted to push by him, but Darien lightly help her wrist and pulled her back to the couch.
"Do you really want to know why I care, Serena? I remember being your age. I didn't know a single guy who would turn down a chance to take advantage of a girl."
She snorted. "You included."
Darien glared at her. "No, not me included. I'm not that kind of person."
Serena raised an eyebrow at him. "You've never taken advantage of a girl? Yeah right."
Darien nearly snapped back at her but decided against it. "We're not discussing me; we're discussing you. You'd be the one being taken advantage of."
"I can take care of myself," Serena grumbled.
"I don't think so." It was meant as an insult, but it came out sounding concerned.
Serena looked at him sharply. "Oh yeah?" she replied. In a flash, Serena had moved past him and stood next to the door.
Darien walked over to her and seized her by her upper arms. "I'm not done talking to you. You never finished your story. What about the last game?"
"That game?" she responded, looking at him with wide eyes. He was scaring her. She looked away from his eyes, instead focusing on his chest. "They taught it to me."
"And you taught Mina, Lita, Raye, and Amy," Darien continued for her. "I don't think that was a good idea, Serena."
"I don't really care what you think, though, do I? It's my life. If I choose to mess it up, I will. I'll live however I want to, thank you very much. And--" Serena stopped mid rant. "Darien," she whimpered, "you're hurting me."
Darien quickly released her, as his eyes refocused on the top of her head. He opened his mouth to speak before he froze. He could see down Serena's shirt. "You're going to kill me," he mused.
"Are you going to let me?" Serena replied cheerfully, moving her head to look up at him.
"Say what?" Serena was very confused.
"You lose." She gawked at him. He had beaten her at her own game. "It's not fun to be on the losing end of that game, is it?" Darien inquired. Serena noticed that his eyes were pointing somewhere over her head.
She waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Jerk! It's not fair to play with only one other person."
Darien looked down at her and forced his gaze to remain on her face. "Earth to Meatball Head. You lost fair and square." Whoa! Darien realized he was trying to get Serena to make a sex noise. Somehow that didn't seem like a good idea.
"You pervert," she grumbled.
"It's okay to play that game with other people, though?" his voice was dangerously low. "I don't like the games you've been playing Serena."
"But you're going to play them with me?" she replied, using his own tactic against him.
"Not likely. If I wanted to hear you make a sex noise, I'd give you good reason to make one," Darien taunted. Wait. Did he just say that to Meatball Head?
Heat rose to Serena's cheeks. "What the hell, Darien?" she replied, saying each word slowly. Did he really just come on to her?
Darien said nothing in response. Finally he broke the silence. "Don't play those games with anyone again," he ordered before heading to the door.
Just as his hand rested on the doorknob, Serena put a hand on his arm. "Why? Don't you want to play them?" she inquired. Darien's mouth dropped open. "What's so bad about Strip Poker?" Serena slid her hand onto his chest, which she drummed on gently with her fingers. "And I rather like Truth or Dare."
"Meatball Head," Darien breathed. "You don't know what you're doing."
"Actually, I think I know perfectly well. It seems obvious." Her eyes darted downward for a second before returning to his face.
Darien winced. Now she was using euphemisms. Was the world coming to an end? "Serena," he began.
"What, Darien?" she asked. She had moved so close that their bodies were touching.
He was going to tell her not to get into something she couldn't get out of, but he opted for a question instead. "Are you on something?"
Serena blinked. She tried to stop the smile from spreading across her face. In a few seconds, she burst into laughter. "Oh, Darien," she giggled. She was laughing so hard that she leaned against him for support. "That was the funniest question," she huffed between laughs.
Darien didn't move. Serena was pressed against him. It wasn't that it didn't happen often. After all, she ran into him almost daily, but his body had never had such a prolonged meeting with Serena's. The hands on the girl's elbows, which were keeping her from collapsing to the floor, tightened.
"Um, ow?" she commented, still out of breath from laughing.
Darien looked down at her. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks flushed, and her chest heaved. Darien had always loved her laugh, but at the moment he could think of a much better way to make her look just as she did now. "Sorry," he said huskily. He moved his hands from her elbows, and let them trail against her sides before joining at the small of her back. "Better?"
"Yeah," she murmured with a grin, pressing her body up against his. Darien growled deep in his throat before he pressed his mouth down to hers. Serena nibbled at his lower lip, and he parted his lips, allowing their tongues to mingle. When the thought occurred to him, he tried to pull away to demand if Serena had learned this from someone, too, but her fingers were twisted too tightly in his hair. The thought was soon forgotten when Serena pulled him along with her and helpfully positioned herself against a wall. He slid his knee between her legs to increase the contact between their bodies. When he felt her fingers trailing down his back, he slowly placed kisses down her neck. Serena moaned softly.
Darien looked up at her and grinned wickedly. "I told you I'd give you a reason," he commented.
"Mm-hm," she agreed, pulling him back to her lips. She bucked her hips against his. He groaned in response. Serena pulled back. "And I gave you one." He smiled before leaning back down to her neck and flicking his tongue across it, eliciting another noise.
They were rather starting to enjoy each other's company when the wall moved. They looked around in shock. The wall moved, again. "Get away from the door," Andrew's muffled voice called. Serena and Darien exchanged glances. They jumped away from each other and attempted to fix their disheveled appearances. When Andrew walked in, they dropped their hands. He looked at Darien and frowned. He then turned to Serena and began coughing hysterically. He had apparently choked himself.
"Are you okay, Andrew?" Serena questioned, patting him on the back. Darien's eyes narrowed as he watched Serena's concern for his best friend.
"Darien," he gasped finally. "I wanted you to lecture her, you idiot, not do whatever you were doing." His eyes glinted at his friend.
"What are you talking about?" Serena asked before Darien could reply.
Andrew turned a glare on her. "Serena, don't you think you've caused enough trouble?"
"I agree. What are you talking about, Andrew?" Darien questioned, playing along.
He looked suspiciously from one to the other. "I know you two were doing something. Darien, if you hurt Serena, I'll kill you."
"Thanks so much, Andrew!" Serena chirped, giving him a bear hug. "Why didn't you offer sooner?" Andrew didn't reply.
"I don't think Andrew was serious, Meatball Head. In the end, I think he'd favor me over you," Darien said, trying to keep his voice flippant. Why did Serena still have her arms around Andrew? He felt great relief when she released the other man.
The blonde man again looked at each of them before shaking his head. "You better never do something like that again, Serena."
"See ya, Andrew," Darien said suddenly, exiting the room.
"You weren't doing anything in here?" he asked again, watching her carefully.
"Just talking. I don't know why you left Jerk Face to talk to me. Why would I listen to him? Sorry, Andrew." Serena smiled up at him.
"It's okay, Serena. Just promise not to do something so stupid again."
"I promise."
"Great." Andrew looked relieved. "Do you want a milkshake?"
"Actually, I can't. I was supposed to be home ten minutes ago," Serena responded, looking sad.
"Next time, then. You'd better hurry." As soon as he had closed his mouth, Serena bolted from the room.
Serena dashed through the Arcade, tossing a quick good-bye to her friends, and out the doors. As she reached the end of the building, a hand shot out and pulled her into the alleyway. She nearly kicked out until she saw her captor.
Darien settled Serena against the wall of the Crown Arcade. "Now, where were we?" he asked, smiling roguishly.
"Right here," she replied, pulling him into a kiss.
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